Kristy’s Story :The Knock That Sadly Gave Her Strength to Leave.
While this is a little strange for me sharing someone else story like this, but she asked me to share it. I tried to get her to guest blog for me anomalously, but she insisted that I do it. I am not using any real names either, because sometimes people like to be so judgemental and throw stones. She just wanted to share in hopes of keeping someone else for making her mistakes. Guys, please don’t think we are man bashing here, because we all know that women are just as capable of infidelity as a man. This is just her story and if you want to share yours from a male’s perspective please get in contact with me and we can make that happen. Now I am going to call them Kristy and Jim.
Kristy up until a year ago had been with Jim for 8 years (dating and marriage). After only six month’s of dating Jim showed signs that he had been cheating on her with other women. Kristy told me how she would get these strange looks from other females. Jim would never lay is phone down out of his sight. A lot of times she would go for days without hearing from him.
Well around the 8th month, on Saturday afternoon it all came to a head and what she suspected as true slapped her in the face. One of the other women confronted her in the parking lot of her job. Told her that Jim and been seeing her for a couple of months and that Kristy needed to move on, because Jim was hers. Both exchanged very heated words before the police was called in to break up the confrontation.
Kristy later that night had words with Jim. Who she say swore up in down, it was nothing like the girl had told her. She say she sent him packing that night and told him she didn’t want to have anything else to do with him. However as in a lot of case the story did not end there.
Jim spent the next couple of month pursuing Kristy again. He would show up at her house and job unannounced, with gifts and flowers. She even stated that he brought lunch for her and some of her co-workers several time. The co-workers and some of her friends started saying that he must be very sorry and had learned his lesson and eventually she started to believe him. She finally let Jim back in her life and after about another six months he proposed to her. Well I would like to end it here and say they lived happily ever after, but sadly enough to say it didn’t.
Now they got married about a year and a half after the proposal. For the first few years she said everything seemed wonderful and she and Jim even had a child. About the fourth year signs started to show again that Jim might be cheating. And the truth is he was. She confronted him and other women. Now mind you they stay in a very large city. So this time Jim was a little smarter and wasn’t messing with women around the way their way.
She say he would straighten up for a little while then a couple of months later he would be back up to his old tricks. Several people told her she should leave. She said she kept telling them she wanted to save her marriage and have her husband there to help raise the child. She continue to stay with him for more years putting up with his mess. She said she thought she loved him more then anything, but now she looks back she says she realized she just didn’t love herself enough. She explained that she was very naive and stupid at the time. Please don’t think I am calling her stupid, but I am trying to put it to you basically how it was told to me.
I can say this though that we have all known someone who was so in love in a relationship that they couldn’t see the forest from the trees. Whether or not it was our self or a friend or family member, but we all can tell a similar story.
Now back to them, this came to an end though about a year ago, when she was finally strong enough to throw him out. However, she stated she gained strength only because another issue occurred outside of the infidelity, but at the same time it was because of the infidelity.
One Friday evening, after Kristy and her child had just got in the door from going to the grocery store. She say a knock came at the door and it was a little boy about the same age as her and Jim’s child. He asked to speak to his daddy. She stated she asked him who his daddy was and he said Jim. She say she wanted to pass out, but she tried to keep her composure, because the little boy and her child was both staring at her. She said she got up enough strength to tell the boy he wasn’t home yet. The boy left and turned and went to the end of the yard and got in the car with a woman, Kristy assumed at that time was the child’s mother. Later to find out it was.
She say she went crazy started going through the house looking for receipts that he had been supporting another child, besides theirs. She got his stuff threw it out on the front lawn. Called him at work and told him she knew, and that if wanted any of his stuff before the neighbors went through it he better get home. She say she called her sister to come get her child, because she didn’t not want her child to see the seen she was about to make, when Jim walked through the door. She said she had so many years of pinned up frustration and anger that as soon as he walked through the door trying to apologize and explain himself, everything that wasn’t tied down went towards his head.
Well this is where that ended. She said she know that some of you all are saying she was crazy to put up with him for that long anyway. But she also said that it is easy to say stuff when you are from the outside looking in. She said when your in it a lot of times you just totally try to deny truth. Her main thing she wanted people to know is that he can say he is going to change, but words mean nothing, so don’t put yourself out there for no one. Love yourself more!!
I just wanted to thank Kristy for sharing her story, because even though I didn’t share her name. It took a lot of guts for her to reveal this to me and tell me who she was, when she could have just sent a an anonymous email. This is real life and Real Talk.